I write this as I sit on the runway at London Heathrow airport, with a one way ticket to Bali and not very much money in my pocket.
6 months ago, I thought I had everything. A great corporate job, a safe marriage, a gorgeous doggy I adored, every possession I ever dreamed of and I enjoyed the perks of Singapore life from my penthouse apartment. A had friends, wholeseome good-for-me friends, volunteered with several charities and had purpose in life.
Then it all fell apart and I found myself broken. At the time I thought I was beyond repair.
I had lost my identity and I had to find myself again. So, I did the cliche thing and headed over to Bali for a couple of months to do just that. There’s a reason people go to Bali when their life is in turmoil. It’s a beautiful place to be and being surrounded by nature is healing for the soul. The people are equally beautiful and they have an attitude to life that makes you stop in your tracks and wonder what you have been doing your whole life, constantly seeking more, when everything you will ever need is air in your lungs.
A wise Balinese man summed it up to me perfectly, and these words were the turning point for what I saw as ambition in life.
“Life is simple, it is our mind that makes it complicated. Life is cheap, it’s our ego that makes it expensive”
I’ll let that sink in.
As I head off to the other side of the world once again, with a gut full of fear and a heart full of courage, I have to keep the faith and the belief that what is meant to be, is what is meant to be and I am right where I am meant to be right here, right now.
It’s not a secret to the people close to me that I suffer from depression and when bad things happen to me, I take them overly badly and hold my finger on the self-destruct button. It takes me a lot longer than most to pick myself up and dust myself off. But I always do. I always come out smiling on the other side. I just can’t help but think that there is more to life than the traditional “success” I have been chasing, and what a better time to try and discover what it’s all about than when I have literally lost everything I had worked so hard to build.
From years of living with low self-esteem, feeling unworthy and unloveable, the one thing that I have learnt is how to medicate. For me my medicine is health. If I keep myself active and put good things inside my body it’s much easier to keep the demons inside my head at bay. One day at a time.
Follow my journey of recovery and discovery as I put myself back together and find my own personal interpretation of what life is about. I’ll be posting about all things to help heal the mind- cultural experiences, beauty in nature, beneficial nutrition, rewarding exercise, inspirational reads and keeping the faith that I will find love again.
#Restart #LifeJourney #Discovery #Depression #MentalHealth #FindingMyself #Bali #SelfWorth #BeautifulLife #SimpleThings #SelfCare #OneDayAtATime #Recovery